So I Forgot Again

I forgot to post again. I’m sorry!

I forgot a lot of things yesterday, number one being ‘drink coffee’. Once I’ve failed at coffee, a lot of other things get forgotten – and in short order, since I left the house early yesterday.

If you have a bad memory, a good routine makes life a lot easier. Get up, shower, drink coffee, sit at computer, write blog, have breakfast – if you do it all in the right order, nothing gets forgotten. But if you think ‘hm, I’ll be busy tomorrow – I’ll shower tonight to save time in the morning’… well. It seemed like a good idea at the time. (I didn’t get breakfast either)

That’s the blessing and curse of a good routine – it keeps me from leaving the house without brushing my teeth or picking up my phone, but I have to do all the steps every time or it doesn’t work and I forget things and wind up missing the train. On one memorable occasion I wound up at the station with 1) no wallet, 2) no phone, and 3) the book I’d already finished, not the one I’d just started.

Routines are good. But don’t mess with them in the name of efficiency! It never ends well!

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Calling in semi-conscious

I’ve been sticking to the regimen – up at six every morning, in front of the computer by six-thirty, theoretically ready to kick some textual butt.

In practice… yeah, not so much. In practice I spend at least an hour staring at the screen, trying to remember how to play Candy Crush because it’s just so complicated when I’m half awake, remembering I haven’t had coffee yet and maybe that will help, looking at Tumblr then forgetting I was looking at Tumblr and spending ten minutes asking myself what I was doing, remembering again that I should have some coffee, playing with my phone,  looking at a couple of comic strips, finally getting up to get coffee…

Well. You get the idea.

I hadn’t realized how completely I’d lost my early-morning mojo. I used to be a total early-morning badass, getting up at four or five AM every morning before school, then later having little trouble cruising to my 7 AM start at work. Then I married a night owl, who kept encouraging me to stay up late. Then I birthed a night owl spawnling who at two and a half freaking years old cannot be induced to sleep before ten PM for love, money, or cookies. And now I lurch out of bed at six AM and can suddenly no longer function during mornings.

I’m going to keep at it. It took years for me to lose the knack, it’s going to take more than a few weeks for me to get it back. But I am too sleepy to be interesting today. I’ll try again tomorrow.

 

 

I did it.

Well, kind of. It took me half an hour to get from the bed to the computer after my alarm went off, because I woke up five times during a six hour sleep period and there was toddler-crying and hallucinatory Harry Potter dreams and so on, but I didn’t go back to sleep and I’m here at the computer and typing even though I’m having trouble focusing my eyes and I can’t concen ooooh kitty.

No, really, there was a kitty. She wants breakfast. I should get up and do that and also get coffee because maybe that will help my eyes focus. (Also, I wish to note that they were not Harry Potter dreams that were hallucinatory in nature, I actually dreamed I was Harry Potter. Hallucinating. Only then it turned out to be not so much hallucinating himself as time-travel meaning he was there twice so it kind of works either way now that I think about it.)

I now have coffee and the cat has been fed. It occurs to me that I am effectively liveblogging the waking-up process, so reading this later is probably going to be interesting. I haven’t tried any creative writing yet, because the eyes aren’t focusing yet and I haven’t drunk the coffee yet, but what the heck, I’m upright and that’s a start.

So far this morning I have played some Candy Crush on my phone in an attempt to wake up, staggered to the bathroom and then to the computer, stared blankly a lot, made coffee, fed cat, got a drink of water for hydrating… I’m actually not doing too badly, despite the blurry vision. I also keep wandering over to Tumblr, which is less good. Okay. Time to open up a document and write words in it.

Deciding what to write is hard. I’ve been dithering on what new project to start out of all the ideas bobbing around in my brain. I probably should have decided that *before* deciding to start at 6 am.

What’s a very butch, alpha-male type fantasy name? The romance e-publishers all want the alpha males these days. I miss the nice guys.

If you type in ‘manly fant’ on google, ‘manly fantasy names is the first suggestion. I am amused. Not much help, though.

Writing is occurring. No idea if it’s any good, but only two hours after getting up, I am alert enough to create. That’s not bad for four hours of sleep, one cup of coffee, and a first attempt.

A few hundred words written, and the toddler is awake and ready to start the day. I am calling this first attempt a qualified success.

 

 

Commitment

I want to establish a good writing routine. I used to write every day – I used to get testy if I didn’t, actually. Failing to siphon off the creative impulses had the same symptoms as failing to top up my caffeine levels. Crankiness and a lot of twitching in the finger regions.

And then I got out of the habit. I went from a stressful job with long hours to having a baby and I tell you what, the little monkeys really do completely destroy any previous routine. I got more writing done starting work at 7:30 every morning than I have been with a little girl who usually sleeps until eight. And that’s because the *routine* is gone, I think. I don’t get up at the same time every day. I don’t spend 80 minutes on the train every day, which was prime creative time. I don’t eat or have coffee regularly either, and that’s probably not helping.

She’s nearly three. It’s time to stop using her as an excuse to not have a routine. So I’m going to start setting an alarm, and actually getting up. If I get up at six, I will usually have at least two hours before anyone else is up and demanding attention. During that time I will do the following:

1. Write blog every day.

2. Either write original work or edit same for at least an hour every day.

3. Answer blog comments ( a lower priority, since I can do them more easily than anything else, but they will get done during the day)

Of course, now that I’ve committed to this, she’ll keep me up until 3 am.  And I’ll have to get up and do it anyway because otherwise people will see the time-stamp and KNOW I FAILED. (Public shaming is an excellent motivator)

Wish me luck.